i was thinking back this morning to the evening we sat on the park bench during sundown. i remembered the way you sat beside me and how you took a moment of silence, turning to me with such poise. nerves rattled your bones but your mouth offered the sweet words of “nice eyes” and i looked at you, only to be blessed by a smirk of a thousand suns. you grabbed my hand without a gesture and i dived myself into the swaying spectrum across twilight skies that found it’s way to your sea green’s. your presence was the greatest honor. and it tears my chest apart remembering these moments i once lived in the company of someone who filled my world with color. you gave living a definition but also stripped the magic right out of me. never did i plan on losing you. i still see you when i sleep and there’s no way of escaping nostalgia. we were brought together by fate and although you couldn’t stay long, i thank the universe everyday for the chance to shake hands your with your soul.
we grew apart and absence makes the heart grow fonder is what i feared the most between us. without you, my world is hushed but my home became loud. you`re still connected to my roots; it terrifies me. how do i not feel you everywhere i go? i saw a piece of art today resting upon a wall. sunshine reflected, kissing the painting perfectly; my trembling feet stood to think of you. eyes blinded to the picture, light rays echoed the lonely walls as my heart crumbled before my hands. you’re gone and you ushered the sun alongside. i wanted to fade from everything until the moon emerged darkness, cradling me through my despair. people are asking how i’ve been lately but i’ve built a lump in my throat every time i speak so they tell me time heals all. until i’m left alone; time is all i have and my eyes dance the pages of poems i never held the backbone to give you.
did you watch the sunset this evening? it reminded me of us. i tasted you there and felt you like electricity along my static edges. ache quickly deep-seated in my chest as the dusk enfolded me. I come to think of that quote of all beautiful things must come to an end and that very well may be true because the crack of dawn is never promised. so I’m taking all that i have left of you and i, to be gently sheltered where I’ll always remember the beauty at the beginning before we died. I feel defeated. all i wanted was to hold you close until my bones collapsed. but I failt at a lot of things. like pretending I don’t love you, when I do. they also say if you love something set it free and if it comes back to you, it’s yours. I guess now it’s the waiting game because I’m finally done chasing winds, love.
I aspire to be the love you seek in each lifetime.
I look at you and wonder how someone can beat the ease of the wind. For someone who portrays them self as a wound to the world, you walk with remarkable grace. I look at your arms, oh God, they remind me of velvet clouds. and as tempting as it is to jump right into them, I have this urge to plunge the depths of my chest, curl my fingers around my trembling heart and strip it entirely from these strings, to be carefully placed in the palm of your coarse hands. I waive my right to apologize for every gaze into your lucid eyes, but they have become my favorite place to visit. i search for peace in your vaults of heaven swirled into a grassland, just to marvel at the sunset you`ve been hiding beneath your vessel. no wonder you never cease to fill me with warmth. and for the longest time I thought it was the gates of your smile, but it was the melody of your vocal cords that brought back that remembrance of where home actually is.
out of this bouquet of flowers, your rosy cheeks charmed the attention of these baby blues.
though beauty is in the way you carry those flaws, I more fell in love with the roots you grew from.
and despite the fact that your walls consisted of thorns to protect that halo, i still held you with my bare hands and by far, you were the best pain my body has felt.
eyes closed, i plunged into a world where pulse understood vibration much as my heart burned on fire.
my soul ached and healed at the same time.
I want you to look at me, and cringe at the thought of how i’d feel through the fingertips of your memory.