we grew apart and absence makes the heart grow fonder is what i feared the most between us. without you, my world is hushed but my home became loud. you`re still connected to my roots; it terrifies me. how do i not feel you everywhere i go? i saw a piece of art today resting upon a wall. sunshine reflected, kissing the painting perfectly; my trembling feet stood to think of you. eyes blinded to the picture, light rays echoed the lonely walls as my heart crumbled before my hands. you’re gone and you ushered the sun alongside. i wanted to fade from everything until the moon emerged darkness, cradling me through my despair. people are asking how i’ve been lately but i’ve built a lump in my throat every time i speak so they tell me time heals all. until i’m left alone; time is all i have and my eyes dance the pages of poems i never held the backbone to give you.
my world thanks you for coming into light. you were the perfect hideaway. i spent many nights paying no mind at the moon for open ears. numerous mornings never needed suns rays, for just you were enough to bloom yellow daisies outside my skin. here’s me burning my pride to admit things are empty in the absence of you and internal voids are no fun. apologies for letting you down. i realized myself being selfish with my grip, but tell me how couldn’t one be when coming across such divinity as yourself although my words don’t do you justice. your ancient spirit and immense heart are a gravitational pull. not in a million years are you to be forgotten. my soulmate.
did you watch the sunset this evening? it reminded me of us. i tasted you there and felt you like electricity along my static edges. ache quickly deep-seated in my chest as the dusk enfolded me. I come to think of that quote of all beautiful things must come to an end and that very well may be true because the crack of dawn is never promised. so I’m taking all that i have left of you and i, to be gently sheltered where I’ll always remember the beauty at the beginning before we died. I feel defeated. all i wanted was to hold you close until my bones collapsed. but I failt at a lot of things. like pretending I don’t love you, when I do. they also say if you love something set it free and if it comes back to you, it’s yours. I guess now it’s the waiting game because I’m finally done chasing winds, love.
out of this bouquet of flowers, your rosy cheeks charmed the attention of these baby blues.
though beauty is in the way you carry those flaws, I more fell in love with the roots you grew from.
and despite the fact that your walls consisted of thorns to protect that halo, i still held you with my bare hands and by far, you were the best pain my body has felt.
eyes closed, i plunged into a world where pulse understood vibration much as my heart burned on fire.
my soul ached and healed at the same time.
you are my favorite shade of blue.
and as you walked into my world, you brought a spectrum in the center of your palm.
first time standing parallel to your deity, nervous struck my body but somehow your voice managed to shatter the stillness of silence in my mind and your laugh played like a violin to my ears.
i could never put in picture, but the resilience of flowers remind me of your backbone.
with bewildered eyes, time slips through frail fingertips that are scared to no longer hold you and slowly, watch you descend into my pocket of amnesia.
my heart hurts to hug goodbye, for i am not ready to welcome blurred vision behind eyelids which will form watercolor to solitary days.
formed watercolors in
there is this internal fondness that i have for you and it’s a deep-rooted, stubborn feeling stuck to the roof of my rib-cage like peanut butter.
let me be the artist today.
i want to paint you a picture with pastels in so many shades
bleeding the constellations of my thoughts.
an endless spectrum of interwoven blends.
magenta, emerald, violet, fiery orange, dusty blue, ivory .. you name it.
gentle strokes but violently passionate,
a thrill similar to writing in a journal.
only this time, you`re immortalized in canvas.